My evil plan.

A couple months ago I devised an evil plan... Okay, it's not really evil. Nothing about world domination or starting an apocalypse or anything. There is a candy shop that opened a few months ago in downtown Gresham called "iCandy". It's super cute. They make fresh pop corn (regular, cheese, and caramel) every day and they have a lot of retro-ish candy. After visiting the shop a couple of times, I had a thought: I wonder if I could talk them into selling my cupcakes there someday? 

One problem with my thought: there is already a cupcake shop in downtown Gresham (Bella Cupcake). It went in about 2 years ago, and they seem to be doing pretty good. I didn't actually go in and taste their cupcakes until last summer (I had to check the competition!). They were good, but they had that "mass production" type of cupcake taste them, and not to sound boastful, but my cupcakes definitely have that "yummy, home-made" taste to them; thus, mine are better. ;) 

So, I devised my (non-evil) plan. I would go in every Saturday - buy a couple of chocolates and a bag of popcorn - become familiar and get to know the owners (it's a family who runs it) in hopes that maybe I can approach them about the cupcake idea. I haven't seen Bella Cupcakes interact with iCandy at all (no sharing of business cards or anything), so I think I have a good chance of making a contact with these owners. 

I've been doing this for about eight weeks now. Every time I go in I mention that it's my "Saturday tradition" to get popcorn from their shop... and they always thank me for supporting them and for remembering my "punch card" so I can get a free bag of popcorn when I fill it up (apparently people keep forgetting to bring theirs in)!

Today I went in for my usual caramel marshmallow bar and my bag of caramel corn after wandering through our Farmer's Market. While one of the gals who works there was ringing me up, one of the owners looks up and says "Hey! You came in for your popcorn! You come in every week AND remember your punch card!". 

It's a such small thing - but it made me smile. I am a big supporter of local business - I love shopping at our local Farmer's Market and buying from the local farmers. I love to walk downtown Gresham and go into all the little shops. I prefer to buy my TOMS from "The Glass Butterfly" instead of Nordstrom in the mall. Not only am I supporting this local business, but this has the potential to become a possible business venture someday where they can also support MY local business! 

We'll see what the Lord does with this. :) 

Broken.

I'm surrounded by brokenness.

Broken friendships I just can't figure out how to mend. Was it all my fault? I try and try, so hard, to find a way to piece things back together... but I just can't figure it out. Sometimes I think maybe it's better off broken. Maybe, I'll just leave the pieces on the floor, push them under the table, and just move on. But those are pieces of my heart....and it hurts. And all I want to do is pick up the phone and talk... but I can't... and I don't know how to fix that. 

A broken mind.... I can barely control. I look at someone and wish I could rip into them, that the thoughts that roll through my head would somehow escape through a scream, and that release would relieve the pressure that I am constantly fighting.

Broken words... that I can't seem to string together to communicate any coherent thought. I have always relied on words to reveal my heart, and now I can't seem to do anything with them.

A broken heart.... Infected with anger, bitterness, and sadness. I feel dead inside.

A broken life... lost and spinning out of control.

I'm broken... I am desperate... I need the Lord so badly to come in and clear everything out. To overthrow the tables in my heart, the things that are holding me back, the things that are infecting my very soul. 

I need Him.

"O my God, I cry by day, 
but you do not answer, 

And by night, but I find no rest.  

Yet YOU are holy...

...Be not far from me,
    for trouble is near,
    and there is none to help.

I am poured out like water,
    and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
    it is melted within my breast;
my strength is dried up...  

...But you, O Lord, do not be far off!
    O you my help, come quickly to my aid! 

Deliver my soul from the sword..." 
(Psalm 22)

Come and dig me up
Reach down to the roots
Rip the deadness out
And plant something new.
(Ghost Ship)

Wordless Wednesday: California Coast

Wordless Wednesday: Apples

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Wordless Wednesday: Playful

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Wordless Wednesday: Green

Words.

We use them all the time. We use them to make people laugh, or cry. We use them to tell people what we want or need. We use them to share what we think or feel about things. We use them to encourage… we use them to hurt… to build up or tear down.

Words, words, words.

Lately, I’ve seem to have a problem with words. I have found that I am full of many things to say, but I just can’t find the right words to express those things. Now, this could be a good thing or a bad thing. For instance, it’s a good thing I’m not saying what’s on my mind as I read through people’s Facebook statuses (admit it, there is always a temptation to write a snarky remark on someone’s ridiculous status on Facebook!) or on Twitter. It’s good thing that I don’t pull out some colorful language when I’m speaking to (usually stupid) patients on the phone at work. As hard as it is sometimes, I am glad I can hold in those words.

It’s the times when I know I have something to say that needs to be said, yet I can’t form the words to express them. I know I have things that have been put on my heart to share…and it doesn’t matter if I’m speaking them or writing them down, I can’t seem to bring myself to share those words with those around me.

I know part of the problem is that I feel like what I have to say does not have any worth. I have watched myself shy away from talking with groups of people, with friends, with my Bible study group, because I feel like my words have no power or worth to them. Even little things, like my opinion on movies, music, or books are hard for me to voice.

I know the importance of words, and how blessed we are to be able to communicate with each other freely. I know how words can be used – both in good and bad ways – to influence those around us. I am a lover of words. I am an avid book reader. Words move me to laughter, to anger, to tears, to joy. They fill my soul when I am reading them. I know how powerful they are. And I want my words to be used for something good. To bless others. To influence a life. To reach out to others. To share my heart. I want others to be moved by my words.

Why is it so hard to share something that is so close to my heart? Because I’m scared. I don’t like to show my heart very often. It’s hard for me to open up to others. There are few who I have drawn close to, those that have seen glimpses of my heart, but I’ve never fully shared my soul with another person. But I wish I could! I wish I could say the things that are dear to me… the things that bless me and bring me joy. I wish I was brave enough to share the words the Lord has put on my heart… The things He has revealed to me.

The Lord has given me this heart for a reason. My love of words… my love of music… and the passion I feel about it is from HIM. I shouldn’t be holding that in. I should be freely sharing it with those around me. It’s something precious He has seen fit to give to me. Why would I want to hide that precious gift away? Sometime my hearts just aches to be seen…to be shared. I know that is the Lord nudging me, pushing me to share what he has given me to share. And most of the time I ignore it… because I’m too afraid.

I don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to face the Lord at the end and have him say, “Look at all those times I gave you something sweet, and you did nothing with it.”. That thought crushes my soul! I don’t want to be the servant that hid his treasure and did nothing with it. (Matthew 25:14-30) I want to share that treasure… I want it to grow and multiply… I want it to be used.

Book Lovers - UNITE!

While searching for some inspiration for the design of my blog, I came across a couple of quotes I fell in love with on Good Reads...especially the last one.

“Give me a man or woman who has read a thousand books and you give me an interesting companion. Give me a man or woman who has read perhaps three and you give me a very dangerous enemy indeed.” 

- Anne Rice, The Witching Hour

 

 “I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library.” 

- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 

  

“I grabbed my book and opened it up. I wanted to smell it. Heck, I wanted to kiss it. Yes, kiss it. That's right, I am a book kisser. Maybe that's kind of perverted or maybe it's just romantic and highly intelligent.” 

-Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

 

I'm pretty sure I'd be classified as a book kisser. ;)

 

Wordless Wednesday: Rocks and Waves

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52 Book Challenge - Book Four: Clockwork Angel

Clockwork Angel is the first book of “The Infernal Devices” series by Cassandra Clare. This book follows Tessa as she travels by boat from New York to London at the request of her brother Nathaniel, only to be taken captive by The Dark Sisters as soon as she arrives. It is under their horrible instruction, Tessa discovers that she has the ability to Change into a person just by holding on to something that they owned. She is finally told by the Sisters that her training was to prepare her to marry a man they call the Magister. When she refuses, they threaten to kill her brother whom they are holding captive.

Will and Jem are Shadowhunters. They have been trained to use magic which is accessed through runes that are tattooed on their skin to hunt down demons. Will and Jem find Tess while they are investigating the murder of a young girl, and take her back to the Institute which is run by Charlotte and Henry Branwell. As Tessa grows closer to both boys, she discovers that she is drawn to both Will and Jem, and finds that her feelings are stronger than she expects.

As Tess works with the Shadowhunters to help track down her brother and find the Magister, she discovers secrets about her parents that cause her to question who she is and a betrayal by one she holds dear.

It has been years since I have read something by Cassandra Clare, but as soon as I started Clockwork Angel I remembered why I liked her books. I become attached to her characters very quickly. She has a way of making you like them (or hate them) and drawing you in to their world. Of course, there’s the cool characters like vampires and fairies, which I love. I was also very excited to see a character from her original series “The Mortal Instruments” appear in this book. It was a good read, and I can’t wait to get the second one!

Rating: 5 Stars.

52 Book Challenge - Book Three: Deception Point

One morning, out of the blue, Intelligence analyst Rachel Sexton is asked to meet with the President of the United States. Before she knows it, she is on a jet to Antarctica to bear witness to an amazing discovery NASA has made: a meteorite under the ice with fossils of extraterrestrial life forms in it. This could not come at a better time. With an election looming over the country, Rachel’s father, Senator Sexton, is running for the presidential seat against President Herney. The main focus of the Senator’s campaign against the President has been NASA and the billions of dollars spent on research – approved by the President – with no results. This discovery would validate not only the President’s faith and support of NASA, but would cause the American people to put their faith in NASA. Unfortunately, not is all as it seems, and  Rachel soon finds she is stuck in a web of deceit that is threatening her very life. It is up to her, Michael Tolland (an oceanographer), and Corky Marlinson (an astrophysicist) to uncover the truth before it’s too late.

This was the second Dan Brown book I have read. The first one was The Da Vinci Code  - which I loved. I was very excited to read another book by Brown – and my friend Mandy graciously lent me this one. I will admit that it was very slow getting into. The first half of the book is spent setting things up with the election, NASA’s history, and providing information about the meteorite. The exciting stuff didn’t start until easily 300 pages into the book. Luckily, I stuck it through to the end and was pleasantly surprised by the twist in the plot (I literally said “What the heck!?!” when I read it!). In the end, it was worth the read, and I would recommend this book to others, just make sure you push through those first 300 pages – it will be worth it!

Rating: 4 Stars

52 Book Challenge - Book Two: The Red Pyramid

The Red Pyramid is the first book of The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan. This series follows siblings Carter and Sadie Kane, who find out that they are direct descendants from two Pharaohs of ancient Egypt after their father disappears from the British Museum after he tries to summon the Egyptian god, Osiris. Unfortunately this act not only releases Osiris (and traps him in their father’s body), but also releases several other gods, as well as Set, the god of storms, who then entombs their father in a tomb. This thrusts Carter and Sadie into an adventure like no other as they discover the power they have inside of them. Not only do they have to defend themselves against the minions of the evil god Set, but they also have to avoid The House of Life, which is a group of magicians that believe that the Egyptian gods should not interact with magicians. With the help of the cat goddess Bast, their uncle Amos, an unlikely friend from the House of Life, and seeking assistance from Set’s brothers and sisters, Carter and Sadie travel around the world, searching for a way to stop Set as he builds his Red Pyramid, intending to rule the world.

If you have read and enjoyed the Percy Jackson series by Riordan, then you will enjoy the Kane Chronicles. It’s full of ancient history, battles, romance (well, as much romance as 12 and 14 year olds can get!), and humor. The book bounces back and forth between the views of Carter and Sadie, so you get to hear from both of them throughout the book. I am very excited to see where this series go. The second book,The Red Throne, was released in December of 2011, and the third (and final) book will be released in May 2012, so I won’t have to wait very long! J

Rating: 5 Stars

Wordless Wednesday: Frozen

Wordless Wednesday: Soaring over California

52 Book Challenge: The Maze Runner

The Maze Runner is written from the point of view of Thomas, a boy who wakes up in an elevator with no idea of who he is and where he is. The elevator takes him to the “Glade”,  the central area of a large Maze where he meets a group of boys who have lived in the Glade, trying to find a way out of it by sending runners into the maze during the day to map it’s twists and turns. A new boy is delivered once every month, but the day after Thomas arrives, the elevator brings another person: a girl. Her arrival sets things in motion that cause Thomas, and the rest of the boys, to question why they were sent to the Maze and whether or not they can ever escape from it. 

Rating: Four Stars 

While this was a very good read (I couldn't put it down), I wasn't thrilled about the how the characters spoke. They created some of their own words, which they used like swear words (for example, "shuck" was one of them). I think the reason the author had the characters do this, was because they could remember some words/images from their past, and I think the words they created were based on those words (Shuck would be sh** and f*** combined together). While I understand WHY the characters may have done that, I did find it a little irritating.

Next Week's book:

The 52 Book Challenge

A friend and I were discussing our desire to read more in 2012. We both love to read, but haven't read as much as we like in the past. She wanted to set a goal to read x-amount of books in one year. After talking about it, we finally decided to do one book a week, so 52 books for the whole year, and blog about each book that we read.

The one rule is that it has to be a NEW book - one that you have never read before.

It can be an genre, any size, any shape, any color. :)

My first book is 'The Maze Runner' by James Dashner

2012 New Year's Resolutions...

In 2012, I want to...

...sing more.

...read more.

...write more.

...bake more.

...get new ink!

-M-