Broken.

I'm surrounded by brokenness.

Broken friendships I just can't figure out how to mend. Was it all my fault? I try and try, so hard, to find a way to piece things back together... but I just can't figure it out. Sometimes I think maybe it's better off broken. Maybe, I'll just leave the pieces on the floor, push them under the table, and just move on. But those are pieces of my heart....and it hurts. And all I want to do is pick up the phone and talk... but I can't... and I don't know how to fix that. 

A broken mind.... I can barely control. I look at someone and wish I could rip into them, that the thoughts that roll through my head would somehow escape through a scream, and that release would relieve the pressure that I am constantly fighting.

Broken words... that I can't seem to string together to communicate any coherent thought. I have always relied on words to reveal my heart, and now I can't seem to do anything with them.

A broken heart.... Infected with anger, bitterness, and sadness. I feel dead inside.

A broken life... lost and spinning out of control.

I'm broken... I am desperate... I need the Lord so badly to come in and clear everything out. To overthrow the tables in my heart, the things that are holding me back, the things that are infecting my very soul. 

I need Him.

"O my God, I cry by day, 
but you do not answer, 

And by night, but I find no rest.  

Yet YOU are holy...

...Be not far from me,
    for trouble is near,
    and there is none to help.

I am poured out like water,
    and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
    it is melted within my breast;
my strength is dried up...  

...But you, O Lord, do not be far off!
    O you my help, come quickly to my aid! 

Deliver my soul from the sword..." 
(Psalm 22)

Come and dig me up
Reach down to the roots
Rip the deadness out
And plant something new.
(Ghost Ship)